All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
