I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
