glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
