HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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