R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
