return my video game
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
