I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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