peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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