Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Randomize
