dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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