two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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