Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
