she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
