do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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