Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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