i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
How external is "for external use only"?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
