Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
