You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
