Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
