Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
