areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Its about making memories worth repressing
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
