The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
3pm strippers are depressing
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
A+ Viking dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
