im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
