I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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