I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
