It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
