He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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