You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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