in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It's just like the Real World with babies
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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