Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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