I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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