Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
