Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
