R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
