So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize