So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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