someone owes me an orgasm
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
This gyro tastes like lonliness
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize