I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
