Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
