I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
āOn a breakā is implied when itās a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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