I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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