i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
