So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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