so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
