margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Terrible idea I love it
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
