I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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