I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
