What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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