I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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