Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
