My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
she looked like the before picture.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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