you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
this is an emotional support booty call
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
