dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
