Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
