I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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