oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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