There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
