I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
