why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
