I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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